A Father & Daughter's Story Of Restoration & Redemption [The Retreat 2022] - Mike & Denise Dugal

​This series of teachings is recorded live from The Retreat by AeroNova 2022. To find out more about how to attend the annual Retreat visit theretreat.aeronova.org. 
In this moving session, father and daughter Mike and Denise Dugal tell their powerful story of traveling through deep darkness into the restoration and redemption of God. 

Full transcript generated by ai (please excuse errors):





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​It's always good to be with Rod and Beth. And as he mentioned, they have been such an angry getting say that word. I know I know. A special part of our story. And last night when Janae was sharing, and talking about just really having this intimate relationship with the Living God, I was reminded, recently, I read a study and the gentleman was studying about the saints. And what made them spectacular, if you would. And he said they weren't born with great means. They didn't have special talents. But there was a common characteristic among all of those. And that was spiritual receptivity that they were able to discern, when God was near, they were able to discern His presence. And they didn't stop with discernment. But they responded. They responded with brokenness, they responded in humility. They responded and thirsty and hungry after righteousness. And then out of their response, was this life of walking in obedience. And as we have worshipped as rod has challenged us, and he said that each of you received a special invitation to be here. And I believe it's because he noticed that there was a spiritual receptivity in each of you. And you had responded to that. And now, the Holy Spirit is calling us to continue to walk in obedience. And this morning, you're going to hear God's story. We were telling rod earlier, this is really God's story. We just happened to be the characters that he chose for the play to go on. But the thing Yeah. And, and Denise and I, we were laughing about it, because there are definitely times that we were the reluctant participants. And yet he's grace. His grace just kept after us. Let me pray this morning. Father, we give you the glory. We give you the glory. And may Your story be heard this morning. As those who will listen to this tape, may they hear the faithfulness, the goodness, the persistence of God, toward his children. The Father, take the memories. Take our words. Oh, that you would orchestrate them that they would paint such a picture of your goodness of your faithfulness. And oh, we see. Your grace your love continues to run after us. We are so thankful that you outran us. We're so thankful that you pursued us when we did not desire to be pursued. And you embraced us. When in her pain, we tried to push away We give you the glory this morning, father. For you, right good, good father. And we rejoice, we rejoice in you. Amen. I became recently aware of this spiritual heritage that I had been given. That was really unknown to me until recent years. And it wasn't only my side of the family, but marrying Lynette and into her family was such an amazing spiritual heritage. And when you have that type of foundation, you very seldom wonder what can go wrong. I mean, cuz you were literally standing and living upon a foundation that has been built by prayer that has been built by commitment that has been built by consecration. And that's, that's where my family was, until 1968. And some of you know, that rod and I, we were raised only 60 miles apart from each other. And his grandmother actually took him on Saturday mornings to have breakfast at Dougal's big star, which was correctly pronounced do gals and, but my grandfather owned that grocery store that his grandmother took him to. So when we found that out in 2000, we it's been a netted relationship ever since. But in 1968, my parents divorced. And when you're raised in the Bible Belt, and your parents are the first ones to experience divorce, not only within the family, but within the town. Your life drastically changes. I became angry. I was Bulger, I hated everything. And for five years, I lived in that protocol. Land. And then my father who had remarried, he caught me stealing from him. And he said, You have a choice. You can go to jail, or you can come to church. Now, you know 17 year old kid, you're thinking, I can do church a lot better than I can do jail. So I chose church. Well, little did I know that this church he had been attending they had been praying for me. And that night, it was Sunday night in February of 1974. I realize that Jesus had not only died for the world. But he had died for me and I needed a personal Savior. I needed a restoration story in my life. And I accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Savior. And life changed. I went in the Army I did three years I went to Bible college I met Lanett we got married. I made just life was good. We prepared for the chaplaincy, we came back in and we were even blessed. With little Denise 19 inches seven pounds three ounces. November The 25th The only Thanksgiving I have never had turkey. Well, I'm not going any further with that one. But life was good. We were being blessed. And then life changed. First I just want to say thank you for inviting us here. And thank you to the mills, Alfred and Daisy and just for being consistent for your prayer over decades. I am quite thankful and I just want to encourage you guys that if you have someone that you're praying for maybe it's been a long time, you haven't seen any difference, continue. It's very powerful. And like he said, you might be standing too close to actually see. But God is working. He is always working. It may take a week, two months, 20 years, but he's after their heart. And he loves them just as much and more than you do. Yeah. So just a little bit of background. Well, first, I know you may be thinking, how can they tell a story of decades when she looks like she's like 27? Well, I will be 40 in November. So no. But yes, so it is a story of decades. Yeah. I grew up in a loving and godly household I didn't even realize how blessed I was. And I was very happy. I was very involved. I loved music and art and dance and gymnastics, and just everything i Everything brought me joy. And my parents loved each other. They loved Jesus, they were I don't know I'm it's so when you look back, you're like, Oh, my goodness, how did I not how did I take for granted all of this. But it just makes the story that much that reaches even more people. You know. And obviously, I'm a pastor's child, which with brings issues in and of itself. I feel like when you're a pastor's child, you are placed on a pedestal, to which you can never fully live up to. And you're in a glass house and everyone can see every aspect of your life. All the details are on display. So when you mess up, or you make a mistake, it's public knowledge. So being the chaplains daughter, and the missionaries, granddaughter, and having a mother who is loving and strong and kind and makes brownies, and you know, just and the sister of the boy who never got in trouble. It was hard. It was stressful. And, but I didn't give up that easy. When I was younger, I was so determined. I wanted all of my friends to go to church. And I brought the kids to church that didn't look like they should be in church. And it scared some people. But I just told that I was like they need Jesus even more. And he loves them. And yeah, so I feel like there was always a call on my life. I knew that when I was young, I used to say, Dad, I'm going to be a chaplain just like you. And I felt like the enemy knows that too. And so I just I believe attacks started to be thrown. And I feel like things started to change after one of the moves of the many moves in the military that we made. We went to a new city. And the kids that I had always thought were cool. From previous places, I found that group there. And they looked the same, but they were not the same. And I just wanted to be accepted and liked and have community. But they partied a lot and they use foul language. They did not follow rules or accept authority. And now I can see that they also did not have parental guidance at home. They didn't have rules or boundaries set for them. Their parents seemed more like friends than parents. And since I had rules and very detailed boundaries, I was jealous. And I thought I was missing Something even though those same friends always told me, You're so lucky, I just couldn't see it. So I started to follow them, I started to fall in, I started to mirror them the actions. And I told myself, I just wanted to do my own thing. I just wanted to find out why I was being told no, so much. But I also started seeking answers in new places, from my, my previous answer giver, I started seeking other sources than the Lord. And I wanted to know why the outside world was considered bad or fallen or what did that even mean? I didn't know. But I was determined. And so I started to change. I started to party I skipped school. I didn't worry about repercussions at all. I mean, I was told so many times, we're praying for you, we're praying for you. And I was like, Oh, I'm good. I'm covered. Like, I can do whatever. But my attitude, and my actions changed quite drastically, I became indifferent. I became disrespectful, and angry. And dad was gone a lot for the military. So I used that as ammunition and as reason to rebel. And since I was a preacher's daughter, I kind of got notoriety for fitting that mold. And playing that part, people would hear oh, you're a preacher's daughter. That makes sense. And for some reason, I wore that almost as a badge of honor in that time. Like it made me cool. And I don't know why. I think it was just influenced, I don't know, are broken thinking patterns. And after a little while, I started to label myself as the black sheep. And I allowed what I knew of true biblical identity to slip in the black sheep took hold. And when I spoke it so many times, it just started to be reality. And what's crazy, is that during all of this, I never stopped believing in God. I knew he was real. I knew him. I I just basically said, I'll get back to you when I'm ready. And I even continued to pray, but it was very inconsistent. It was like whenever something bad happened, I was like Jesus and he was always there. He was always the same. He always I love you, daughter, you know, just calling out to me. But I just wasn't ready to fully surrender. But it got to the point that I was placed on probation, which I violated. I was given another chance, which I violated. And then I was sent to live in rehab. And while I was there, I received pretty big news. They did blood work during the intake and I found out that I was pregnant. And I was shocked and I was scared. I didn't know what was going to happen. But months past I received counseling I got out I cleaned up my act and finally I had accepted it and I wanted to keep my baby I was even excited we found out I was having a boy and we named him Trey and so I started making plans and how am I going to finish high school and but I was ready to fight for this family. I was ready to do whatever needed to be done. But I experienced a miscarriage at around six months it was devastating. I felt alone. I felt like a piece of me died. And suddenly, all the plans that I had made were erased. I didn't know how to deal with the feelings that I was feeling. And I couldn't talk to anyone. Because I felt shame for not wanting him in the beginning. But it plunged me back into old habits. But now they were fueled by anger and pain. Anything and everything that I thought would help me forget or at least make me numb. I used heavy drugs, alcohol, sex. And I was too young to get a real job. So I started stealing things from our house things from neighbors houses, so that I could pawn them tick keep my habits funded. And there was no stopping me. Sometimes I wouldn't return home for days. Sometimes people would pull up, honk their horn, throw me into the front yard and my parents would come get me I wasn't aware of it. But mom, we were talking about this time and, and she let me know that there were a few times that they had to take me to the hospital because I was unresponsive, and there is no recollection of that at all. And my parents tried everything that they could. But it came to a culmination. And I found myself standing before a judge about to be locked up. So as we talk about being this biological father, to be on a spiritual father. One thing that I knew up to that point that I had broke the cycle from my biological father. I had been faithful he was a womanizer even before my parents divorced. I had been faithful to Lynette I've been faithful to the kids. And so when Denise was on this journey, Nightmare roller coaster, whatever you want to call it. One I couldn't believe it. Because I thought, by me controlling my life, I could control her. And I forgot one thing. free will. And as some of you know a little bit about that. But I really I really believed in I had been taught I had read Dobson's books on you know raising a strong willed child. I mean, I had it underlined, I had it marked, you know, and then work you know, I went to men's groups, I went to retreats, I went to parenting classes. I was teaching parenting classes. I was the family life chaplain at Fort Sam Houston. During this time, the couples would come in the families would come in, I could help them. I bring it home at ain't work and in his just like, Lord, what is going on? And more and more. I not only felt like a failure. I knew I had failed as a dad. We're sitting in the courtroom and the hardest day of my life of fatherhood was when they learned Denise in in a jumper, handcuffs and shackles and I thought I was gonna literally die We had a couple from the church, Tom and Karen. We started sitting in the courtroom at nine o'clock that morning. And at four o'clock in the afternoon, they led her in. And they sat with us the entire day. Didn't say anything. They just sat there with us. And so many times I came to that realization. I didn't know how to be a healthy dad. I thought I did. I thought I had broke that cycle, from having an unhealthy father. And yet, here I was faced. And I remember couples, families, they would see me in the commissary. And their daughter had turned around because of the counseling we had done. And she was in college, and they were just a chaplain to go, you're the greatest, you're the greatest. Yeah. Would you bring that home and tell my family? But isn't it ironic? That through my education, I was helping others. But in my family, I was lost, I was broken. And I remember just crying out to the Lord. And Rod had asked me said, you know, when do you think that transition was taking place. And probably it started just before we met you guys in 2000. Because I didn't have spiritual fathers. I would dive into the books of those who spoke of spiritual disciplines, character development, and I would allow these Christian authors to be my spiritual fathers. And all of a sudden, I realized that the only place I can turn was to the ultimate father. And in that I found salvation for myself. I found forgiveness. I found as we sang this morning, a center who could see it not because of the circumstances because I knew the one who was in control of those circumstances. And saints, it wasn't me. It was not me. Lynette and I would, we would be in the same room and we'd be 1000 miles apart. It's hard to do that on an island that's only 100 miles across. But we were. So this restoration, it wasn't just about Denise it was about our marriage. It was about our relationship with David that had to be restored because he became the silent child. Not by choice. But because her actions demanded 100% of our attention. So when you hear this theme this weekend about restoration, it's not just us being reconciled to the Father. But it's about our marriages, it's about our relationships with our children. And it's so much more than what we can imagine. But as Paul Harvey would say, now for the rest of the story. So the outcome with the judge was that yes, I had to serve time. I went to the juvenile detention for almost a year and then to a correctional facility as well for another and when I got out Other things seemed to be good. I got my GED while I was in there. And one of the teachers was an alumni of Austin Peay, from the city that we were living in. And he had encouraged me and spoke about my artistic ability and helped me create a portfolio and had already set up all these meetings. So I was ready to start college as well. The relationships in our family were being mended. And things looked pretty bright. And that's when mom got sick. And as much as I loved her, I couldn't be around it. I didn't want to see her hurting when dad had a heart issue, and then he also was shipped off to war quite suddenly. And so the cycle started again and you may be waiting for the the overdose story, or the I hit rock bottom, and I decided to change. But that didn't happen to me. Really, I just grew up I figured out how to live highly functioning in my dysfunction. I kept a good job. But I was drinking all the time. I was partying and doing things recreationally. Even though I had longer term relationships, they were quite unhealthy and broken and many brought physical and emotional damage. I was still looking for something to fill that hole. And I was trying anything and everything even though I knew the outcome and I had good times, but they never lasted. And looking back I just saw many lost years about two decades worth the only constant in my life was my family. So here's past and we went to grandpa's for the annual camp meeting in a family function. And he was highly respected, and I respected him highly. And there might have even been a little bit of holy fear in there. And I was always on my best behavior when we were around grandpa because he did not accept misbehaving. And I always looked forward to being there. Because there was peace there. The Chickies families were our family and they loved me so much. No one ever mentioned anything. They just spoke directly to we love you. How can we pray for you? Oh, I was overwhelmed by their care. You could feel the love tangibly there but at this point when we were visiting grandpa had already been dealing with Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's and dementia. And the second night that we were there mama asked me to help him into his room to lay him down for a nap. And I hadn't gone in that room since I was younger. Because I was scared to go in there. But as I sat him down the mirror, along the other side of the wall caught my eye and I turned around. And on that mirror, were just pictures of me from a young age, through the all the rebellion years, only my pictures and he has a lot of adopted grandchildren. And so I was like, that's interesting. Not fully getting what was about to happen. And I turned back and on his bedside table was just his Bible. And one sheet of paper, like a prayer request, paper, and on it was my name. That's it, and it was underlined. Okay. But as I noticed it, I looked up and he was staring at me. Which didn't happen. And our eyes were locked. And he grabs my hand. And he just said, I love you. And suddenly, I remembered all of the times. People told me they were praying for me. It all came rushing back, grandpa, mom and dad, you guys, all of our family friends, it hit me and it hit me hard. I could see how God never left. It was just me keeping him at arm's distance. And suddenly the atmosphere in the room changed. And Jesus met me face to face in that moment, through my grandfather in that short time, I found all the things that I had been looking for I felt real love. I felt seen. I felt accepted. I felt completely safe. And I realized I could finally give up control. I no longer needed to be in the driver's seat. I could stop running. I could start trying to mold and shift myself into something I knew I wasn't. I could surrender the years of pain. And I broke into tears and I cried out to God forgive me. I had immediately I felt like I breathed in fresh air. I recalled his goodness. I recalled who he was. I reflected on all that he had done. It is refreshing as it was it was also scary because I knew I'd have to change I couldn't stay where I was to truly change but he gave me strength. I left an eight year long relationship with my boyfriend who by worldly standards was a good relationship. Probably the first one I'd ever had. I left a really good job. I left my friends my best friend and the community that I had built for myself. My full family I felt God called me to go back to school. Which was scary because I was so burnt out. I had there were so many doubts of can I even write If papers or read for, you know a long amount of time will I be able to retain information but God is so good he gives good gifts to his children. It he restored my mind. He restored my family's relationships. He Healed my body. I had suffered from out since I was 19, I had very bad rheumatoid arthritis, gone through prayer. He resurrected hopes and dreams within myself that I thought were dead or that I had lost. He healed me from the pain of the things that I did lose. And he reveals new things all the time. He used my parents and so many other godly mothers and fathers to reach me. I was finally able to focus and realize the things that I had learned my whole life I had observed these truths. He chose me as his possession. I was purchased at a great cost. I was made unique and distinct. And I was loved for who I was. It's just baffling to me. I mean that after all of this, what others might have seen from the outside is destruction, and just God uses it for good. And now he has I have unique preparation to reach other broken people. I have unique understanding, because I've walked through so much. And God has called me into ministry. And now the little girl that said, I'm going to be a chaplain like Daddy really is a chaplain like that he made a way he cleared a path. I mean, he there has always been a a love for the outcast or for lonely people are broken people. And like I said, because of the things that I've gone through, it's multiplied that. And the Lord uses even my friends from Tennessee, where I moved away from, they all reach out to me now. And they're like I see this in your life. I see that you look happy. And they ask questions and I get to minister to them. And a few of them have accepted Jesus for themselves and ask questions and started going to church and he's just orchestrated. So such good. He's brought so many strong men and women of God around me to speak into my life and to combat the lies of the enemy he uses them to tear down those lies and replace them with truth I like Second Corinthians 517 Because the old is gone and the new is here and he chose me before the foundation of the earth and my purpose is to praise him and give him glory and call other broken toys. Come see. Come see what only He can do that hole inside of you. Only he can fill it thank you When we're talking about spiritual fathers and mothers, one of the things that became so clear to me and the Lord even asked me Are you okay? If I don't use you? To reach Denise? Wait a minute. That is a father's right? Are you okay? If I choose not to use you to reach Denise, can you trust me with her life? Can you trust me to do a work in her life, even if you never see it? And because there were multiple spiritual fathers and spiritual mothers, that she would listen to. The Lord not only restored her to Himself, He restored her to us and to her brother. And when she says the turkeys are a family. They are she has so many Island brothers and sisters. But as she said, when she would be there, they would just love her. And one of the things that I had to come to the point is that I had to let go. I prided my military career, I'd been awarded rewarded, because I could maintain control. But when it came to fathering my firstborn, I had to let go of control. I'm not sure where you are, this morning. But I want you to know, as Paul says, I has not seen ear has not heard, nor has it even entered into the heart of man. What God has prepared for those who love Him. Lynette and I were laughing instead of someone told us 10 years ago, that Denise would be a licensed minister. Yeah, right. And what world but as she said, But God, but God. And the reason that we are so dear to Rodan bath in the kids. Because Andrew, and Gabe and Janae, Nicole and Daniel. They allowed us to be a spiritual father to them. I remember when I flew to Alaska, and Andrew was up there, and we just went out. And we had this amazing supper. So even though you may not have a voice, or you may not be able to touch your biological child. There's others that the Lord will trust you with. And I remember when Nicole and Tay got married, I told her, I said, we're rejoicing with you, as you are our very own daughter. Because we still had no way of seeing the tree that the Lord had planted by the rivers of living water. Because as rod said, we were way too close. So I pray this morning that you've heard God's story. You've heard his faithfulness. And I know no one signs up for this type of journey, but because he Is faith because of the Body of Christ? We not only survived, we were able to thrive in the goodness of the Lord. Thank you for listening. Thank you, Rod for letting us share. Lord bless you we were going to sit down, I think would just stand up. And rather than having two recorders Dan will keep this one going. And I'll just step out of the microphone. Denise, how old were you? When the trial started? I was about 14. Okay, so when we hear these testimonies, most of the time, we don't think about the parents or if we do their fleeting thought we're focused on, oh, wow, God did this, this is wonderful. But I want you guys, especially those of you who have children, to sit in mic and Linnet seat for a moment, I want you to feel the pain. Because that's what loving is, right? It's caring enough that we feel the pain. And I know you I know your story. And I just I said, share what you're comfortable sharing what you feel led share. We don't need to get into, you could share a lot. And it would be really hard. Because what I want to everyone to know is that your story is 1000 times harder than what you shared. And you young people, those of you who are under 20, I want you to know what she's telling you. It was 1000 times worse. She's not telling you the gory details. It was horrible. And the reason why I'm saying this is because it makes the story of redemption so much more powerful. But it also the cross that you carried, was much harder than what you've just heard. Y'all hear what we're saying? It was bloody, it was a very difficult cross to carry. And it's a cross that no parent should ever have to carry alone. And for us, God nted our hearts so much. It was an honor to walk with you through it. But it was hard. And it was long. How old were you? When that redemption took place? Your grandfather said that 3434 years old 20 years, I thought it was about two decades. 20 years, I would like to tell you that the story you've shared with us is what happens to most Christian kids who go astray. And you were out there, you're on the edge of hell. Sometimes you were in hell, but it was hell on earth. But most of them don't make it back. Can we come to that realization if you're as old as I am, or as old as some other folks in here, for every one redemption story, there's 100 that did not make it back. And that's the scary part of walking through it as parents, because you don't you know, you're praying and you're believing. And that's why I just want to highlight the cross that you and Lynette carried Mike. It was a it was a tough cross to carry. In the midst of this, what I experienced though, was Mike's transition from your earthly fathering. And you had a lot of if you want to come up and talk about this, you had a lot of hidden knowledge about you. We're a marriage and family therapist Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist. When he says he was the family life Chaplain that he was trained like he was seriously. This was not he was he wasn't telling you how intense this is. Yet I saw a transition happened and it wasn't up here. It was in here it was in the head. It was in the heart where you really started to walk more and more as a spiritual father. And Denise you said this to me on the phone and then I think you said it here. But you made it you said I always felt covered. Can you tell us what was that? What was what was going on there? You said I always felt covered. Yeah. So as I mentioned, people were always letting me know they're praying for you. And with my knowledge and understanding of God and him being a good father. I just I felt safe, even when I was in unsafe circumstances. And I actually, after we spoke about it, I kind of I was like, Okay, Lord, what? What did it actually? Was it coming out in a resentful way? Or a spiteful way of telling them I feel covered? I'm good. And I think it was also me pushing boundaries. And using Oh, well, you're praying, I can do whatever I want, you know, as a reason, or? I did. I did tell them that. Oh, my goodness. But yeah, even even if it did come out as a I don't know what the right word would be if it came out. false assurance. But I still knew it to be true. Regardless, regardless of how or why I said it. I knew it was true. And I knew the people and the character of the people who were praying for me. And they were they never changed. You know, I mean, except for a growing in the Lord. But they didn't. All the people around me were very, every new wind of change, they changed every issue that comes out, you know, there's another problem. Whereas even if I was far away, I could still see the foundation under, you know, all of you guys. And yeah, I just knew, I was like, God's got it. And he always tugged at my heart like, okay, come on time. This time now. I'm like, Ah, give me a few more years. But yeah, that that time in Grandpa's room, it was like, no more years. Come home now. Okay. I got you. Yeah, yeah. Well, Rod had mentioned was this transition. And as I told you, I didn't have examples of spiritual fathers. My dad had already died of cancer. So there was no opportunity for a restoration with him. And what I did learn was, I had to keep my eyes on the perfect father. And I started this, not quickly reading the scriptures, but slowly reading the scriptures. And every time that Jesus would mention the father, that's those were the scriptures when Philip asking, you know, show us the Father, and Jesus goes, What do you mean, show you the father, you've seen me, you've seen the Father. So I started looking at the life of Jesus. And both Matthew and Luke, they say you who are evil fathers, you know how to give good gifts. And it was this phrase, that would not I mean, it gripped me in Jesus says, how much more? Does your father in heaven, desire to give you good things? And I was at the point that I had to ask myself, Am I going to believe that? Or am I just going to read through it? And you're right, you know, I had all of this education. I tried. I tried it all. Yeah, every time I came home, there was a new intervention. And Denise with Denise would interrupt, play it out and say, Okay, are we done? Can I go now? And it's like, and it didn't work. But I realized I had to change. And I remember the Lord say, one morning I was praying for Denise in the Lord's say, and this isn't about her. Excuse me, have you not been watching? I mean, sometimes I would have Have conversations with the Lord like that. He goes, this is about you. It's about your pride. It's about your need of having control. It's about your image. Because your security, your significance is tied to her image. You are angry that she is not showing you as a good father that I had to repent. And I was broken. And I realized that I couldn't change her. And I later on the altar, she became our Isaac, almost every day of those 20 years. But I remember, I had bought the effective prayers of fathers, you know, that little booklet, and a, they would have a line, and I had Denise's name written in and every one of those prayers, and I had prayed that, and I could not see any change. Finally, I just told the Lord ESCO I don't know how to pray anymore. Yeah, you're gonna have to teach me you're gonna have to teach me how do I intercede for my daughter? I said, this is what I want you to pray. May this be the day? She responds to the revelation she's been given? And I started praying that and when we share that with friends, they said, Well, how soon then? How soon? I got it, it doesn't matter. No, no, no, no, tell us how soon, a month, two months? It doesn't know really? We want to know. Okay, you have to be careful what you ask for. I prayed that for eight years. But it wasn't how can I say this? You talk about the cross. But that cross became lighter. Because someone else had carried it for me. And I really believe that when we met you guys, that transition had already started. And yeah, hopefully that answers your question. Yeah. Thank you, Mike. And for those who know your grandfather, there's a few here. I think I would you guys correct me if I'm wrong. But I think I would be accurate in saying he was devoted to the Lord completely. And when she said, in my words, there's no monkey business. There's no scent like he he's a man of holiness. I mean, am I right, Pastor Alfred, he. And yet he demonstrated how a father can walk in holiness and righteousness without compromise, because the world would say he's not doing it the right way. I promise you that, because there's no compromise. And at the same time, of walking in that righteousness and holiness, walking in that love, and having that fullness, you know, not suspending some nature of God, some aspect of the nature of God, but being able to walk in both. And I think you shared with me he taught you many things in in those ways. Yeah. I'd say tough, but that I think that's so important because becoming spiritual fathers and mothers is becoming like the Lord. It's letting his heart be imparted to ours. To stop avoiding pain. If you want to avoid pain, don't become a father. Right? Don't become a mother. And your story now, tell us you you came back to the Lord in 2016. And what did you do? Like you said, you went back to school tell us what did you do? You went to school and what did you study? What what I after that week in order Again, I got, I chose to be rebaptized. That week by the end of the week, so grandfather was there and dad was there. I immediately went home to Tennessee. And in three months I was moved to Hawaii 2016. Yes. Okay. So I got there by October. And you were just getting out of the military. But you were also teaching at Pacific Rim Christian University. And that's where I started going to school. And in my mind, I'm like, Oh, I only have a few credits left for my associates. I'll just do that. That was not God's plan. And he told me keep going. So I finished my bachelor's degree, and he told me keep going. And I'm like, But why? But he never gave me full pictures. It's always baby steps. I don't know if anyone knows the movie. What About Bob? But remember, he's like, Baby, step, baby. That's how I feel like God works with me. He's like, Okay, now do this. And I'll give you a little more. And now, that's how I follow him. But that's how school was as well. And he paid for my master's. And when he called me to it, I didn't know how is this going to work? Because there was no money, and I didn't have a good enough job to pay for that. And then the school reached out and asked me to be a student life counselor. Without knowing anything about it, I prayed and I just heard the Lord say, I just want your Yes. And so I said, Yes. And then the next sentence out of his mouth was, you know, what pays for college? Right? And I was like, Oh, my goodness, god, you're so good. So yeah, he took care of everything. I'm floored by him. I'm so in love, and how you're speaking about godly mothers and fathers, from the school itself. There have been so many strong men and women of God around me teaching me and not necessarily always teaching through words, but through their actions, through their interactions. And I'm excited for whatever's next. I mean, I know some of what's next. But obviously, baby steps. I don't know. And so now you are the chaplain to the universe. Yes. Correct. Just like you wanted to be. In this story. It wasn't a church program. I'm not knocking church programs, please hear me. It wasn't even of marriage and family therapy. Technique. When everything else failed, spiritual fatherhood worked. You see, when everything else failed, spiritual motherhood worked. And this is this, this mantle of Elijah that we're talking about. God is doing something in this generation that's coming. And I believe it is really, really big. I believe there are many stories like yours now. Denise, I know, now that you're living in the good life, I know it breaks your heart to lose one month of that 20 years, and you lost 20. And I know that. But I also know that this mantle of Elijah, this love of God, that's manifesting, in raising up spiritual fathers and mothers will turn a generation even in circumstances that are impossible, even though that for every one of you, there's 100, who don't make it. I want those 100 to make it. I want God to to move in this generation. We are moving into a generation when a dark storm is rolling in across the earth. And you guys, somebody talked about it last night, don't let that discourage you. Listen, the generation right now that's turning against the LORD, that maybe their parents were are with the Lord. Don't blame the culture. The culture does not have that much power. God says it's in us to obey and to walk with Him. And He will turn a generation to know Him. It is the Spirit of God in men and women who raised up in his mantle of Elijah who have hearts like fathers and mothers who invest and carry the cross. And these are the ones and I believe that it's almost like a nameless generation. Here's what I mean. And everyone has names. But in the earth, people aren't going to know who they are, because there's so many of them. And I believe even in the Revelation of John, it is possible that when we see the two witnesses in the street, some theologians say, it's not just two people in the streets, it is those who Jesus sends out two by two who walk in the power in the mantle of the Holy Spirit, who turn generations to God, who the scripture says they opened the heavens, and miracles happen by their hands. But it's not staged focus, because all these people won't fit on a stage. All of the times that we were with you that we prayed with you, Mike, all of those times, never once were we on a stage. Now we were on stages, other times. But the point is, is that your redemption, and your restoration did not come from standing in front of microphones, right? It came because people walked in this mantle. Y'all see this? And your story is beautiful. Yes, over and over again. And I love what you said that, not one of us, I, I do not have all of the graces, gifts, quality strengths to raise my own children. Right. God says, I've got other spiritual fathers that I will bring just like I did in your life. I've got other spiritual mothers. And the same is true in our spiritual families as well. And your story is a miracle. I want this miracle to happen for a whole generation. I do. And there's a there is a tremendous brokenness happening in society right now. Guys, I never thought I would see it in my lifetime. I never thought I'd see some of this in any lifetime. What we're seeing now. And it will be people who walk like you're teaching us to walk, who walk in this mantle, this the only way you can become a spiritual mother. I mean, really, really quality, anointed, powerful spiritual mother, and not just mediocre spiritual mother, is get close to Jesus. The closer we walk with God, remember we said Elijah last night, he didn't set out to be a spiritual father. He was concerned about his ministry, what you were saying he was concerned about his success as a prophet. Chaplain. Right. But then that transition happened, like you told us just happened in your life, Mike. So I hope that as you guys are sharing this story we didn't. This is not just about redemption of one person. This is really about what God is saying to us. And I hope last night it wasn't too late. In that late hour, when we talked about the hidden Elijah's that we see. Don't wait for Billy Graham to come. He's with the Lord. Right? Don't wait for an actual man to come down out of the clouds that everyone goes, oh, a lie just back. Are you with me? Let's walk now in the anointing that God's called us to let's get close to him. Let's be used by him. And not we don't worry, I don't care if they know who we are. It doesn't matter. Because we are known in heaven. And there are hundreds of 1000s Millions of people who are walking through all kinds of brokenness, like you're sharing. And it's not going to be the the techniques. I'm not against the counseling techniques. I love them. I anything that will help I'm all for it. But ultimately, the family of God, the Spirit of God manifesting in the family of God, not just people who are in the meeting in the church, right, but the family of God together. Amen. Come on up. I must say that, even though we've sort of been the center characters there is one and he did recognize when I wanted to run from the pain when I went to legal and said, How do I emancipate this 16 year old daughter. They said you can't she's an army dependent. On that constant We're gonna love her. We're gonna let her in law net modeled for me. When I wanted to just get the pain out of my life she was very concerned when I bought a motorcycle because she thought I was gonna get on it and right away and never come back. And I said, No, no true story. That's a true story. It's a true story. But there were times I saw her love as weakness. There were times her love became an issue of argument between us. But it was your love. It was your loved one app. That allowed me to dare to say, doesn't matter what she does. I will love her with the love of God. And I was able to do that. Because of this. Woman. Thank you. Man. If we do, if we follow that audit trail, where that love come from, you guys know any love you have somebody gave it to you. Right? Somebody deposited that love in your life. And we know your mom and dad. They didn't just model it. They gave it to you. And your mom, a nurturing mother's love and your dad sometimes a tough love. Most people would say. But it was the love of a father. It was the steadfast love of a father. And that's what we were talking about last night. Do you see the chain reaction? If you knew her dad's story, he told me before he passed away, I asked him when he left home how he was 12 or 1111 or 12. He had his home life was so bad. He left home. I think he said 11. But you say 12? Can you guys believe that? You talk about being born with a deficit in your upbringing? And I said, What what did you do? And he says, I went to San Francisco. I said where do you live? He's Well, I I lived in this little place next to this restaurant. And I worked in this restaurant bussing tables as a little boy. And I said, Well, what did you eat? Because well, I just ate the food off the plates after the people left. But he met God. No matter what you're born circumstances you're born into. He met God. And God raised Him up as an apostle in the faith. And he started churches and ministries all over the Pacific Islands, Japan, Guam, the Solomon Islands, and then with the Republic of tube peoples and in our country. But what I really want us to see is that a little boy who was born in what many would say, impossible circumstances, he became a spiritual father because he got with God. And that chain reaction, that love of a father was filling Lynette's life. And even when Lynette gets married, and her husband says, I have this deficit, I don't have this. It gets transferred into you from your wife. We're taught this things like electricity. It'll just pass through and bring that impartation a man I love this. Lord, we thank you for this time we worship you. We honor your servants who've been through hard times and those who are gone to be with you, Brother Bush, who's with you right now. I'm sure he's very cognizant of what's happening here right now. We honor his service and love for you. And we thank you for fathers and mothers who carry this anointing of Your Holy Spirit that brings generational transfer and can bring redemption in the most impossible circumstances because this culture. The wickedness of the world has no power when it comes to comparing it to you to God your power being deposited and imparted through your people in Jesus name, a man and a man. Thank you for joining us today. Aaron ova is raising up spiritual leaders in many nations through our spiritual enrichment events, syndicated NetCast international prayer Council network and numerous international seminary scholarships. 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