Embracing Correction to Release Revelation - Natalie Mills

Christ calls us to complete surrender of the natural self, including all desires and interests, in exchange for a new self. This surrender brings a deeper transformation of the heart and mind, producing fruitfulness in life rather than just maintaining the current state.
This series of teachings is recorded live from The Retreat by AeroNova 2023. To find out more about how to attend the annual Retreat visit theretreat.aeronova.org. 

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Full transcript generated by ai (please excuse errors):


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I'm actually going to start by having Dan share a dream that he had last week. Because it's so perfectly encapsulates the thesis of what I'm talking about. And I just feel like it's such a such a word from the Lord. Oh, is it gone? Okay. All right. So here's Dan. So it's a short dream that I had a couple of weeks ago, that I shared with Natalie. She felt like it really connected well with what God's been teaching her. But basically, in the dream, Lucy Cantrell was praying for me, and she had laid her hands on my head, but not like normally, where you see somebody praying for somebody, and they put their hand on the top of the head. But she put her hands on the base of my head around my spine, kind of like a chiropractor does. But if you've ever been to a chiropractor, when they hold your head like that, they kind of yank it. And it decompresses the upper portion of your spine. When she was praying for me in the stream, she didn't move her hands. But I felt the decompression in my spine the same way that as if I was being helped by a chiropractor. And in that moment, I saw myself from the third person, and I saw a vision of visions. There were visions, it sounds weird to say it, but there were visions that I could see in my back, like in my spine, just below my neck. And whenever she prayed for me, and that adjustment was made, all the sudden, all these visions went from my spine up into my mind, and then I could see them and I had revelations, and all these revelations that had been kind of waiting for that correction, were suddenly visible to me. So they were all in me. And so while I was praying, after I woke up from the stream, I asked the Lord, like, what, what is the meaning of this? And I think it's fairly straightforward. But just he was affirming, to me, this simple concept that sometimes correction in the body of believers can lead to massive revelation for somebody who's been waiting for revelation. And something he said to me, was the difference or not the difference? There's a critical difference between correction and reprimand. And when we are being disciplined by God, sometimes correction is not what we need. We need reprimand, right. But usually, I think more often probably we need correction. And it's a gentle operation. And it might be a little uncomfortable. But it's, it's a loving action that has it, it releases something, and enables us rather than restricting us it's not like going to prison, right. That's a reprimand. So that was the dream and what the Lord spoke to me about it. Thanks, Pete. I have had much much correction in my life and much need for correction in my life and still have much need for correction in my life. But I just thought that was such a poignant image of the work of correction, and how it can release revelation. And that's really what I'm, I wouldn't call this so much a teaching. I'm not a teacher. It's more just a testimony of the graciousness, and the goodness, and the gentleness and the mercy of God in my own life. So I'm going to share with you today, where the Lord has done this exact work that Dan's dream described in my own life, over the last four or five years specifically, I believe that the Lord wants to do this work in many of our lives over and over again. And I hope that my testimony can serve as just one single example of what this can look like in someone's life. So God took such a fundamental assumption in my life, and completely redefined it. He corrected it, he adjusted it, and he aligned it with his truth and reality. I fought the correction for years, holding tight to my assumptions, which in my mind were God given truth. But after receiving and truly embracing the correction as a new and truer foundation, so much revelation has flowed into this specific area of my life more than I ever could have hoped for. And most importantly, he has completely changed my heart. So the question that I invite you to ponder with me today while you listen to my stories this? Where does the Lord want to redefine something in your life? Or correct, a fundamental or a minor understanding? In order that he might pour out more revelation, and conform your heart more into His image? What basic assumptions are you holding about yourself, about God, or about life that the Lord wants to adjust? His perspective is always better. So I invite you to enter with me into a posture of repentance and surrender of everything. In the words of William law, and from his book, a serious call to a devout and holy life, he says, We readily acknowledge that God alone is to be the rule and measure. So God, I ask that you would align us every inch to your rule, and measure that nothing. No assumption. No perspective would be left out of line with your rule, and measure. So Jesus, I invite you now to speak to every single one of us individually. God, I ask that only your truth would land in our hearts this morning. And that the testimony of what you have done in my life would serve as a catalyst in all of our lives as you lead us on our journeys of greater surrender and repentance before you. You are good and kind and gentle. God, would you speak to each of us today. Your voice is better than anything that I could say. So God, I invite you to speak to each and every one of us through this testimony of your goodness. While this testimony requires a little bit of backstory, so my story begins with my youths, strong concepts of myself. Allow me to paint a picture of who I was. As a child, I was an avid tree climber and neighborhood bike a gang member with a vivid imagination, wild animation, a flair for the dramatic and bottomless energy. I grew up in charismatic circles and YWAM and received all sorts of prosthetic words through others for myself, my life, my future, my destiny. I clung to these words, and they defined my early image of myself. I was beyond blessed to travel and briefly live internationally as a child. And I loved every opportunity to learn a new language and culture to make new friends to explore and do daring wild things. My dad still tells the story of when his heart stopped, as he looked up to see me standing at the edge of a very slippery 50 foot waterfall, above a very shallow pool while we were on a hike in Bolivia. At 10 years old, I didn't hesitate when spontaneously asked to climb up on a stage and teach an entire refugee camp in southern Thailand, how to sing and dance to a bunch of kids worship songs. I helped run and teach a weekly children's outreach program for over 200 Kids in the shanty villages of Wooster, South Africa. While I lived there in my early teen years, I was tasked with catching and killing a chicken for dinner in Zimbabwe, and failed horribly at trying to cut its head off that chicken suffered. It was one of the worst and most hilarious experiences of my life, along with when a mean monkey stole my flip flop. When I was 17 in Bolivia, I was making my way by myself from the YWAM base to the ministry campus for homeless children, which was about 30 minutes away by several different buses. I was all about by myself, and I missed my first stop off the bus and found myself completely lost in a city of two and a half million people. I found myself standing on the side of a busy road with very, very little knowledge of Spanish, no phone, limited money, basically no idea where I was going, and I was thrilled. What an exhilarating adventure lay before me as I navigated my way through a foreign city all alone. I loved it. I problem solved and follow the Holy Spirit and somehow, I made it there. I felt so alive. I've always had a passion for adventure, exploration, danger and excitement. I want to live life in extremes on the edge of my seat, trusting the Lord for every step. During college, I dove into self exploration as my relationship with the Lord grew. I researched and learned about personality types, Strength Finders, spiritual gifts and all sorts of fun and truly useful tools for understanding myself, and the way that God made me and practical, grounded and helpful ways. And meanwhile, my mind was constantly occupied with grandiose visions of my future. From my young and energetic vantage point, the future was full of wild adventure, danger, beauty and thrill. I fit together the puzzle pieces of my personality, my skills, my callings, my spiritual gifts, my passions and desires, which were, of course from the LORD and Thus, of course, would be fulfilled by him, and I dreamed of the potential images of life that these combinations could construct. I saw myself in Africa buildings and leading small medical training centers for rural communities or traversing unforgiving terrain to preach the gospel to unreachable peoples rescuing homeless children from drugs and abuse on the streets of South America being brave and daring and bold for the Lord holding nothing back, the wind blowing in my hair and the sun shining on my glowing face. I have a vivid imagination. But dreams aside, I was confident that I knew who I was, what I was built for, and where I was going, Oh, how I knew. And then, the most exciting thing of all happened. I found the one who my heart loves. He is a truly grand adventure. I fell in love with Dan and was never so sure of anything in my life. And I've never regretted him for a moment. We got married two days after I graduated college and found ourselves pregnant two months later, Dan still had a year left in his undergrad. So instead of jetting off to a remote village in Southeast Asia, I found myself settling into a nursing job at a small hospital in Bozeman. Esther, our oldest arrived a month before our first anniversary. And then the kids just kept on coming. And as many of you know, they came fast. We had three kids and two and a half years, Dan kept following the Lord by pursuing his academic degrees. And somehow, after all my years of dreaming about my life, I found myself sitting in a hot old house in a small run downtown in New Mexico of all places with a three year old, two year old and one year old. Instead of digging wells in rural Namibia, or teaching basic medical practices and remote reaches of the Andes, I spent my days breaking up toddler fights, wiping butts, disciplining fits and soothing meltdowns. In my free time, I folded laundry, did the dishes cooked, boring, food swept and vacuumed and cried out to the Lord. Never. In my visions of my future, was I stuck at home with kids. I assumed that I would eventually have kids, but they'd obviously just be tied to my back with a towel like those ladies in Africa, while I kept doing my purely heroic acts. This life of monotonous mundane, it was surely surely not at all what the Lord intended for me. How could this God who loved me deeply and placed these passions and skills in my heart and life so cruelly put me where none of my skills gifts or passions were being exercised or utilized? Where was the danger? The thrill, the beauty, the daring adventure. I reasoned with God constantly. My mind was literally almost always engaged in trying to convince him to somehow they only out, I began to look at the next 18 to 20 years of parenting, as a prison. As total death of all of my joy and passion. I felt flat and empty, and utterly disappointed with wife. This gradually turned into anger as it became more clear to me that God wasn't changing his mind about his will for me to be a stay at home homeschooling mom, my conversations with God began to take on an accusatory tone. I repeatedly laid out the facts for him, arguing that there was no possible way for me to enjoy and find life in motherhood, simply because of how He created me. And I argued it from every angle, personality strengths, callings, skill sets, passions, prophetic words, I declared to him, that this was who he made me, and who he made me was utterly incompatible with the life calling that he had given me. I was so bitter, so stuck in this place. The Lord gently spoke to me over and over saying, I could help you love it. But I would refuse and explain the impossibility that he for some reason clearly didn't say, No, you can't make me love it, I'd say, because of these factors that are just who I am. And by the way, you made me this way. It sounds fantastically dramatic. But this is really where I was with the Lord for a very long time. For years, I think I actually thought that if I threw a big enough fit for a long enough time, that somehow God would change his mind. I didn't know what that would look like I fancied that maybe he'd call me back to work in the professional world or back to school or into full time ministry. Anything other than just motherhood. I wanted him to call me back to something that would make me feel fulfilled, and happy and alive. Something that would awaken those parts of me that had died from lack of use. And of course, that should be what God wants for me to write. But every time I prayed about it, the answer was clear. No, this is what I've called you to. I started to feel like he wanted me to be miserable. My bitterness grew, my brokenness grew. I didn't know how I would survive this season, I can honestly say that I hated my daily life. I've always loved my children. I'm not saying I didn't love them. Obviously, I've always loved my children. But my bitterness and selfishness was so strong that I hated my job of being a full time mom. And I was convinced that I would feel that way. No matter what God thought he could do. Until my circumstances changed. I dug my heels in and prepared to throw my fit, until God picked me up and put me somewhere else. I was ready to kick and scream in my Oh, so mature way until my kids moved out and I could once again do what I've been created to do. I was very honestly crying out to the Lord for life. But it was life on my terms. I wanted life and joy, but I wanted it my way. And believe it or not, God wasn't bending. One day, I was reading Ezekiel in my prayer time. I came to the vision of valley of dry bones in chapter 37. In verse three, the Lord asks Ezekiel, Son of man, can these bones live? And Ezekiel says to the Lord, oh, Lord, you know, the Lord took me into this exchange. And he said to me, Natalie, do you think that I can take your valley of dry bones of motherhood and bring it to life? Do you think I could make Your heart love being a mom. In complete honesty before the Lord I replied, God, I don't want you to revive the stripe bones. I want you to take me out of them. I want you to pick me up and place me in a beautiful valley full of life and things that I like. I want you to remove me from this valley of full time all in nothing but motherhood. Florida, so gentle. He graciously spoke and finally my heart hurt. Natalie if you will surrender your heart and your identity to me. I will revive your motherhood and make it more beautiful, fulfilling, lovely, and life giving than you could ever imagine. I can actually make you a woman who loves motherhood. So I'll ask again. Can these bones live? Can I do that? I came face to face with my folly. It wasn't that it was impossible. It was that I wouldn't allow it to happen. I would not allow the Lord to change my heart. And in defeat, I felt as equals words coming out of me. Oh god, you know? I don't know. But you do. Oh, God. You know. I knew that to accept this revival from the Lord would be to die to everything I thought I knew about myself. I would have to surrender everything. Even my very idea of who I was, and what I like, what I'm passionate about what I want to do with my life, what makes me happy. I had to surrender all of it. In exchange for something new from God. something very different. I broke, I wept. I relinquished, I repented and I surrendered. I let go of one of the most basic assumptions of my existence. I let go of who I thought I was and what I thought the Lord was going to do with my life. the gentleness of the Lord finally convinced me that he actually knew better. I invited him to reinvent my heart from the ground up. He very clearly said to me, I have given you children. And I have therefore called and equipped you to be a mother. It's not some minor task along the way. It's a cooler, bigger things. It is your calling. And if you'll allow me I'll show you how you were created for this. How your passions your gifts, your callings. They find their fulfillment and their fullest expression with in motherhood. How the uniqueness of personality and strengths that I've given you were always meant and originally purposed to be applied and fully utilized within motherhood. I will bring you to life I had asked the Lord to change my circumstances. When all along I simply needed him to change my heart this shifting moment about three years ago now unlocked such incredible freedom in my life. Before this turning point, my mothering was so stuck. There was no breakthrough. There was no revelation. I wasn't hearing from the Lord about motherhood. And to be honest, I didn't want to that portion of who I am wasn't adjusted. It wasn't corrected, it wasn't aligned to receive from him. So I didn't. I honestly did not know. I did not know that this part of me existed. The part of me that loves my life, as a stay at home mom, that loves cooking delicious food for my family, and even cleaning my home, the part of me that savers the funny moments with my kids and loves speaking life into them, the part of me that wants to just be at home with my family, creating spaces of rest and joy and peace, teaching and raising my kids, the part of me that wants to create a sanctuary of peace for my husband and my children daily, I actually did not know that that part of me existed. And just three years ago, I would have argued you all day, that that's just not the way God made me, and that I will never enjoy those things. But the Lord's gracious correction, opened my eyes and now I can honestly see the beauty, the excitement, the thrill, the daring and occasionally dangerous adventure, of motherhood. I am fully utilized, and alive and engaged in my calling. It is truly who I am. And I am finally at rest in it. I'm not anywhere near perfect, a perfect or even a great mom. I have not arrived I'm constantly receiving tweaks and adjustments from others and from the Lord. I still have many daily flaws, difficulties and failures within motherhood. I am in no way claiming complete maturity or understanding in this area. But repentance and surrender has set me on a path of growth and revelation. The Lord is constantly constantly bringing incremental doses of revelation and break through for motherhood in my life, through my personal prayer times with him through books and mentorship through other women and mothers around me through everything. I have dived in completely and every day I am seeing a new glimpse of the Lord's heart for motherhood. God has endless revelation that he wants to pour out on us endless revelation that he wants to pour out on us. Are we positioned to receive it? Where is the Holy Spirit so gently and graciously asking you to shift your perspective to allow him to change your heart? What is he asking you to let go of in exchange for his greater truth and reality? To what in your life is the Holy Spirit pointing today? It might be an area where you already think you're aligned. It might be a place that you know needs adjustment that you've been fighting it. What does the Holy Spirit wants you to surrender to him today? What does he wants you to repent of today? Maybe the Lord wants to call you into a more extreme level of holiness in an area of your life. One that you find a little over the edge maybe he's asking you to give something up that you've always assumed isn't a problem. Maybe he wants to redefine how you prioritize your values. how you spend your time how you look at life. How you see yourself or you see God how you make choices. What is the next thing that he is asking you to hand over so that he can give you something better in exchange. I want to close by reading a few excerpts from CS Lewis's classic masterpiece Mere Christianity. The ordinary idea, which we all have before we become Christians is this. We take as the starting point, our ordinary self, with its various desires and interests. We then admit that something else call it morality or decent behavior or the good of society has claims on this self claims which interfere with its own desires. What we mean by being good is giving in to those claims. Some of the things the ordinary self wanted to do turn out to be what we call wrong, well, we must give them up. Other things turn out to be what we call right? Well, we shall have to do them. But we are hoping all the time, that when all the demands have been met, the poor natural self will still have some chance, and some time to get on with its own life and do what it likes. In fact, we are very much like an honest man paying his taxes, he pays them all right, but he does hope that there will be enough leftover for him to live on. Because we are still taking our natural self as the starting point. But Christ says, Give me all I don't want so much of your time and so much of your money and so much of your work, I want you I have not come to torment your natural self, but to kill it. no half measures are any good. I don't want to cut off a branch here and a branch there, I want to have the whole tree down, hand over the whole natural self, all the desires which you think innocent, as well as the ones you think wicked, the whole outfit. I will give you a new self instead. In fact, I will give you myself, my own will, will become yours. The terrible thing. The almost impossible thing is to hand over your whole self, all your wishes and precautions to Christ. But it is far easier than what we're trying to do instead, for what we are trying to do is to remain what we call ourselves, to keep personal happiness as our great aim in life, and yet at the same time be good. We are all trying to let our minds and hearts go their own way centered on money or pleasure or ambition, on fulfillment and hoping in spite of this to behave honestly and chastely and humbly. And that is exactly what Christ warned us you could not do. As he said a thistle cannot produce figs. If I am a field that contains nothing but grass seed I cannot produce wheat cutting the grass may keep it short, but I shall still produce grass and no wheat. If I want to produce wheat, the change must go deeper than the surface. I must be plowed up and rezone. I must be plowed up and re sown. Lord would you plow up the soil of our hearts. The grounds that is dry and cracked the ground that is hard with rocks. The ground that we've plowed according to the crops we want it to plant, plow it all up God we hold nothing back from you. Nothing is off limits for the Spirit of God. Nothing is hidden from him anyways, we reserve nothing for ourselves or our own desires. God would you take it all. Lord, re write our thoughts, re invent our hearts, rewire our minds and recalibrate our spirits, Lord. adjust our goals and priorities. Correct us body, mind, soul and spirit with your will and your ways. We invite you, gracious spirit, to speak to us and lead us into repentance and surrender. Your kindness draws us in. Your gentleness is unfathomable and your goodness is complete. Thank you for joining us today. Aaron ova is raising up spiritual leaders in many nations through our spiritual enrichment events, syndicated NetCast international prayer Council network and numerous international seminary scholarships. Together, we are lighting the fires of revival, fueling prayer movements and raising up friends of Jesus in the nations. We invite you to partner with us in this extraordinary movement. You can sign up as a prayer and financial partner today by going to era nova.org and clicking give. Please include your email address so that we can send you updates. That's era nova.org. Click give and become a monthly partner today. Invest in some of the most fertile spiritual soils on the planet and give the gift of faith and love today to those with a deep need and hunger to know God. Their lives will be better because of your generosity and heaven will be greater because of your love. We pray that you will be drawn ever closer in your walk with God and that you will see his dreams unfold in your life in extraordinary ways. 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